Joining the Dark Side

Joining the Dark Side
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It is roughly estimated that about 90% of the United States population has seen at least one film from the Star Wars franchise and I’m here to inform you that I am, sadly, a part of the 10% that has never seen one. I find it just as odd and enraging as you do. Ever since I was little, I have had an infatuation with Storm Troopers and R2-D2, but I have never made it to watch any of the movies. In honor of May 4, National Star Wars day if you didn’t know, I thought I would join the dark side and review each of the movies from a first-time seers point of view.
*Warning: If you’re also part of the 10%, there are spoilers ahead*

Episode Ⅳ: A New Hope
I think this was my favorite episode of the original trilogy. This is where Luke, Leia, Han, Chewbacca, and the two droids that have my heart, R2-D2 and C-3PO are introduced. I loved watching Luke and Obi-Wan’s relationship blossom and of course, the Cantina band. The rescue of Princess Leia and the adventure onto the Death Star was fun to watch unfold. I think one of my favorite scenes was the garbage shoot scene. Even though Darth Vader is one of my favorite characters, I cried pretty hard when Obi-Wan met his fate from the end of Vader’s lightsaber. Also, Jawas are pretty cute, but that’s just my opinion.

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Episode Ⅴ: The Empire Strikes Back
I’m gonna be honest here, this wasn’t one of my favorites. I just feel like not a lot happened during this one, but also a lot happened at the same time. The planet, Hoth, where the Rebels have set up camp completely sucks and I felt like Han and Luke being stuck in the snow was 80% of the movie. This episode did introduce Yoda though and just like anybody else, I’m a sucker for him. Yoda’s entrance, Han and Leia’s relationship forming, and iconic “I am your father” line still made the movie enjoyable.

Episode Ⅵ: The Return of the Jedi
One word: Ewoks. I’m in love with them. Luke, who has now bettered his skills, saves his friends from the clutches of Jabba the Hutt. Luke visits Yoda before returning to the Rebels to form a plan to defeat Darth Vader where Yoda dies and then I cried some more. Luke also learns that Leia is his twin sister (awkward). Luke also believes that there is some light left in his father and after a heated lightsaber duel, Darth saves Luke from the Emperor. Then, after telling Luke to make sure Leia and he know that he had light left in him, Vader died. Again, more tears from me.

Episode Ⅰ: The Phantom Menace
I’m just gonna say it now, I think I have a crush on Obi-Wan Kenobi. This is also the movie where we get to meet one of my favorite characters, Jar Jar Binks. Jedis Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan meet a young Darth Vader here, Anakin Skywalker. I loved watching Anakin get in on all of the fighting and his and Padmé’s relationship form. Also, you guessed it, I cried pretty hard when Qui-Gon was killed by Darth Maul.

Episode Ⅱ: Attack of the Clones
Anakin is now grown up and is Obi-Wan’s padawan. After an assassination attempt, Anakin and Obi-Wan are ordered the protect Padmé, whom Anakin hasn’t seen in 10 years. The duo then figures out the clone production and discover the identity of who is trying to kill Padmé. Anakin and Padmé’s relationship unfolding was really cute to watch. Also, kind of hurt to see Anakin begin drifting to the dark side after his mother’s death.

Episode Ⅲ: Revenge of the Sith
I think this was my favorite movie out of all of them. Lots and lots of tears though. Seeing Anakin go fully dark in fear of losing Padmé really hurt. Also, I hated Palpatine this whole time and I knew he was going to cause something horrible to happen. Anakin begins to get everything he’s dreamed of, a family and life with Padmé and a seat on the Jedi council, just for it to turn dark. The scene between Obi-Wan and Anakin as Anakin burns was the hardest thing to watch.

Revenge of Sith Poster

Episode Ⅶ: The Force Awakens
The moment I had been waiting for… I finally got to see Kylo Ren. However, this movie didn’t feel like a Star Wars movie to me for some reason. I don’t know if it was the oddly placed humor or just the shift with the dark vs light aspect. However, I loved seeing the original trilogy’s characters come back and see how their lives ended up. As much as I love Kylo, seeing him kill Han really didn’t sit well with me. Then again, I feel like it was good for Kylo’s development and his inner conflict of light vs dark.

Episode Ⅷ: The Last Jedi
Shirtless Kylo. That’s all. 10/10, perfect movie. I loved watching Rey develop her powers and use the force to better understand Kylo. Luke’s character in this movie kinda annoyed me, I think it was just him not learning from his mistakes and continuing to ignore them. Him becoming one with the Force though hurt me seeing as he is also one of my favorite characters. Also, Kylo killing Snoke instead of Rey? He’s trying his best, he just wants to be a good guy. Let’s also all just say a thank you for the cuteness that is porgs.

Episode Ⅸ: The Rise of Skywalker
The movie I had been dreading, we’re not even going to talk about the ending because I’ll just cry. How did Palpatine survive his supposed “death” in Return of the Jedi? Does someone want to explain? This movie really destroyed me. Ben deserved better and he deserved a better ending.

Rise of Skywalker Poster

Written by: Shyann Finefrock